Dealing With The Loss Of A Child

Today my son would have been 14 years old.

This day is always a bit tough for me, as you can imagine. Most years I keep to myself. In fact, for many years I did not speak a word to anyone on this day.

Earlier I spoke candidly about my feelings, experience, and advice for others who may be going through a similar loss while streaming my morning ride on Zwift.

As I tell in this video, there some things that I think others should consider if going through a similar tragedy.

  • You will not be thinking straight so you need a close family member or friend that can step in and provide support with decision making.

    • I made the decision to not have an autopsy, and it was a terrible decision. That decision resulted in our family never knowing why we lost David James.

  • You will not be able to truly grieve for days or even weeks.

    • You are forced to be a parent to your lost child.

      • You have to¬† make decisions on burial or cremation

      • You have to figure out where to have the memorial

      • You have to contact friends and family

      • You have to open up your home to out of towners.

      • and so on

  • When it is time to grieve others will not be there for you.

  • The grieving process never really ends

    • You will be reminded of the loss many times per year

      • Birthdays

      • anniversary

      • and so on

With all that being said, I can tell you that it all gets better over time.

The pain begins to fade.

As I said years ago, you have two choices when dealing with the loss of a child. Jump in the grave with your loved one or Live your best life.

I chose the ladder.

It remains difficult on this day every year and I will forever miss David James, but I have chosen to live my best life knowing that we will be together again one day.


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